I'm One Day Tougher

*this post has swear words. truth.


There was a time when I was a third mate and I was on a ship with a Chief Mate who hated me. Not only did he hate me but he was a total dick. Like awful, awful, awful. 

It's a time in my career that makes me cringe because I absolutely can not imagine letting someone talk to me like that. 

At the time I used to tell myself 'just smile'. I thought that if I kept a smile on my face everyone would see him for the asshole he was and I'd come out the other side looking like the bigger more professional person. 

I would say the Ani DiFranco lyric 'smile pretty and watch your back' over and over and over in my head.

It worked. He sunk his own boat and went down in a ball of flames.

Two days ago I was talking to an old timey sailor. I was venting about work. Venting about shipmates. Venting about how much more I can handle.

He said, 'you know I always hate stuff like this but I've always told myself:  I'm one day tougher than this motherfucker'.


You know when you hear something and think, 'I needed to hear this ten years ago?!'.  Or you think, 'yes!  This sums up my career!'.

That's this.


It's not just a person. It's a ship. It's a project.  It's an exam. It's also a person.  

It really comes down to a day.

Every sailor knows the power of 'sign off day'. Like the prison quote:  there's two days - the day you get in and the day you get out.

I've proved myself to be one day tougher over and over and over again. It's something I know I can do. I can beat someone out by a day. I can survive a tough job for one more day. 

One day seems so minuscule. But really, that's all it comes down to.

One day tougher.


Playing Catch Up.

tug boat insides

Sometimes I just don't know where the time goes....It's time to play a little catch up....Let's start with the basics....

Who:  I'm still Megan.  

What:  Well, I'm at work.  I'm outfitting a tug boat.

Where:  I'm on the Columbia River.

When:  I got here at the beginning of April and I'll probably be here until the beginning of June.

Why:  This boat is brand spanking new and is scheduled to be commissioned in June.  I'm here helping put the final touches on her.  I'm literally ordering everything that goes inside a vessel.  From sheets, towels, blankets to mooring lines, tow cable, sledge hammers to fire fighting equipment to televisions to printer paper and sharpies.

How:  I make lists upon lists upon lists.  Then I email everyone I know to ask them questions.  Once I have an idea about what I want / need I send a Purchase Request to my company.  They in turn issue a Purchase Order and items are shipped to me.  I receive the items and stow them in a big container.  Once the vessel is actually ready for things to be inside it I'll unload my container into the boat.

The Good The Bad The Ugly:  I'm very new to tug boats and I haven't ever done a project like this.  It's stretching me.  I'm learning tons.  It's pretty darn fun.  Unfortunately, I probably won't know what I didn't order until we need it.  The ugly?  I'm living in a Comfort Inn.  Yikes.

Neverland is home to Lost Boys like me...


I was driving the Hamakua Coast today when this song came on the radio.  I loved it instantaneously.  I whipped out my phone and said, 'Siri who sings this?!' to which She replied, 'I think it's Ruth B'.  She was right.

This isn't a case of me discovering this - it's already been on the Today Show - I mean really, when it hits Hilo Radio Waves you kind of know it's mainstream unless it's Jahawaiian.  

Man, these lyrics.  I love them.

I'm not sure if they're universally appealing or, even if they're innocent but, I think there is something in this song for everyone.

I'm on my way to work today and, I can't help feel like a Lost Boy heading to Neverland.  

Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
— Ruth B

I'll keep you posted as I settle back in to work.  This trip will be a little different because I'll be bringing a new build out of the shipyard (which tends to be a little tricky).

Neverland, I love you so...

A Few Things I Learned In March


1.  Sometimes mistakes are the best.

Let's use this photo (seen above) as an example.  It was an accident that I found on my phone later.  I was at the beach.  I was taking lots of photos.  This one had a big blurry arm in it.  But, gah, the shadow of my favorite tree!  I love this tree.  I can also see the shadow of the beach umbrella my step dad brought for the Ladies.  We're all a little sun sensitive if you know what I mean.  I can see the sarong my Mom bought me when we were in Bali.  A little crop and it's good to go.  Sure, I can see that there is a little smudge in the corner but, hey, life.  It's a perfect mistake.

2.  The Bullet Journal is amazing.

I started Bullet Journaling.  I actually started in February but got a better handle on it in March.  It has solved a lot of problems for me.  I've been planning a longer post.  Stay tuned.  In the meantime if you want to know what I'm talking about check it out here.  If you want to chat back and forth with me about it you can find me here: @nautiemermate on instagram and twitter!

3. Shingles are basically the Chicken Pox....but only for adults who have already had the Chicken Pox.  Techincal name:  Herpes Zoster.

I mean, isn't that total bullshit?  You are lucky enough to have had the chicken pox as a kid so now you're eligible for shingles!  How is that fair?  Also, the fact that the technical name has the word Herpes in it just totally pisses me off.

4.  Chicken Soup really is magical and good for the soul.  

There is actual scientific evidence to suggest that Chicken Soup is effective in treating colds.  (You can also read about it here.)  All I know is I really do feel like I'm on the mend.  Thank you lovelies for all your get well soon wishes!

5.  Adding some bling to my house makes me happy.

I started adding things that are sparkly or shiny around my house.  Turns out:  I really really love me some well placed bling.  I bought these O.K. vases from the Oh Joy! Target collection.  They are seriously fun.  (You can also check things out on her blog.)  Isn't it interesting what we learn about ourselves as we get older?  I never, ever thought I'd be into bling.

6.  Sometimes you have to just let things go.

I could NOT remember how to spell woe for yesterdays post.  I knew it was its own word.  How it was spelled was another story.  I just went with 'whoa'.  I knew that was like, 'whoa!  nellie!' but, I went with it because I thought, 'do you want to think hard about this right now?'.  The answer was definitely, 'nope'.  So I moved on.  I was laying in bed this morning and I thought:  w-o-e.  Out of the blue.  I kind of wondered why I didn't just look it up.  But, there was this tiny (admittedly very tiny) part of me that was proud of myself for just letting the mistake happen and letting it go.  I make a lot of mistakes around here that I don't notice but, this was a mistake I knew was a mistake and let fly.  Yep, strangely pretty okay about it.  Let it go!  


This post was inspired by one of my favorite blogs:  Modern Mrs. Darcy.

Living on my couch.

what my ottoman currently looks like...

what my ottoman currently looks like...

I've been laying on my couch taking herbal remedies and blowing my nose for about 48 hours.  Now, I know this sounds a little whoa is me...and trust me...it is a little whoa is me because, seriously, being sick absolutely blows.

The good news is that I'm all caught up on my shows.  I really love Naked and Afraid.  I also just started The People v O.J. Simpson - it's actually really well down - and why am I so surprised the Kardashians are involved?!  My Granma was absolutely convinced that O.J. was framed.  Convinced.  I dunno....it kind of seems like he did it...also, a little suspicious that the show starts and then they find another piece of evidence....(imagine me coughing while saying bullshit)...

My Mom came over yesterday and made me chicken soup.  Then she hung out with me all afternoon while we watched Hoarders.  Best.  Mom.  Ever.  You know what Marie Kondo says?  All storage experts are hoarders.  That officially makes me a hoarder.  Baskets?  I got baskets.  

The good news is I had made and frozen a bunch of soup in mini portions so:  I.  am.  set.  

Hope you're all facing spring with your colds behind you!

Here's to healthy immune systems!

Rhiannon Rings Like a Bell Through the Night...

...and wouldn't you love to love her?

Yesterday was my cousin Rhiannon's birthday!

Escorting me down the bunny slope....at age 32...

Escorting me down the bunny slope....at age 32...

You've heard me talk about her a lot over the years.

Here are a couple things I love about her but, you know what I love most about her?

Her Name.  She IS her name.  What a great name.  Did you know Rhiannon is the Welsh Horse Goddess?  Her name means White Witch or Great Queen.

The story of the Celtic goddess Rhiannon reminds us of the healing power of humor, tears, and forgiveness. The goddess Rhiannon is a goddess of movement and change who remains steadfast, comforting us in times of crisis and of loss.
— goddessgift.com

This just couldn't be more true.  Rhiannon is constantly a source of calm.  If I'm really having trouble thinking something through, she's the one I call.  

One of our friends has Rhiannon as her emergency contact on her phone - not her husband - Rhiannon.  Because, Rhiannon will always answer and can solve any problem.

Rhiannon gallops into your life to tell you how to work with doubt. To doubt someone or something when your instincts are giving you warning signals is healthy. To spend time doubting yourself is self-negating and not very helpful. The best way of working with self-doubt is to turn it into self-questioning. Self- doubt leads you nowhere. Self-questioning gives you answers. Do you get stuck in doubt and let it turn your optimism into despair, your confidence into low self-esteem, your vitality into sluggishness and procrastination? Does doubt align itself with your fears to keep you from succeeding? Do the doubts of others shipwreck your dreamboat? Perhaps where the outside world is concerned you need to exercise a bit more skepticism, rather than trusting blindly. The Goddess tells you not to let doubt erode your sacred self. Allow yourself to question rather than doubt so that you can gain the answers you need to continue on your path to wholeness.
— spheresoflight.com

This just couldn't be more true.  Whenever I bring a problem to Rhiannon she always and, I do mean always, reminds me of something I said previously.  She is the absolute best at helping you answer your own questions by reminding you of what you hold important.  She is an absolute doubt smasher.

Also, it's important to note here, that Rhiannon didn't get her name because her mom was a beatnik who loved Fleetwood Mac.  Nope.  Her mom gave her and her sister strong Welsh names that fit them perfectly.

Stevie Nicks wrote her song Rhiannon because she loved her too.

I didn’t write Rhiannon for commerciality. I wrote Rhiannon because I loved her name and I loved her story. I didn’t write her to be sold, she simply is not for sale and has never been.
— Stevie Nicks, BBC One to One, 1989

On that note, I'll leave you with the song that always makes me miss her!

Happy Birthday Rhi Rhi!  This year is going to be a good one!