My Life Is So Weird - warning: this post is politically incorrect and contains foul language

I was a pretty bratty kid - some of it stems from being an only child - but some if it stemmed from just being a brat.  I was the kind of kid who was always really embarrassed by their parents.....I don't remember when but one day I said 'my life is so weird' with a snotty little valley girl voice.  It kind of turned into a family joke because it was preposterous - we still say it to this day when something is just so out there that you have to take a step back and evaluate where you are and what you're doing.  I have M.L.I.S.W moments all the time out here!  I'm going to start a new series of posts.  They are going to be titled My Life Is So Weird (M.L.I.S.W) and they may be politically incorrect - so if you are easily offended or are opposed to foul language you should read these posts with caution (that is also code for I'm a sailor - I hear some crazy stuff!) For the most part I'm going to try to capture some of the absurd conversations that occur on a daily basis.  These off the wall conversations are mostly fueled by the characters we see out here - normal people don't work at sea - they just don't. Here is today's M.L.I.S.W. moment:

Bridge conversation I overheard at approximately 1930 while posting my Osprey photos.

AB:  How much it costs?

Third Mate:  What?

AB:  How much it cooossstts?

Third Mate:  What?!

AB:  Costs!  Costs!

Third Mate:  Ooohh, COSTS!  Man - speak english!

AB:  I do!  It's the braces!  They hold me teeth together and I can't talk.

Third Mate:   I didn't need braces...I have naturally perfect teeth.

AB:  What?!  No you don't!  You got little baby shark teeth!

Stone cold silence....

AB:  What is that little red plastic thing on an Indians head?

Third Mate:  Megan!  Google that red dot shit! 

AB:  What you people be doing?  Just googling words and shit?

Me:  It's a bindi to mark the sixth chakra....

Third Mate:  Hey Humpty Hump it's to keep the devil out.

AB:  Ooooh....

Third Mate:  All you people from Norfolk need to get an education!