Riding The Bus = MLISW

The only thing that I'm really disliking about being in Florida is that I don't have a car.  I'm not super gung-ho about riding the bus but, my Dad said that I should get over it and get on the bus.  Today I took the bus to the mall.  I think my problem with riding the bus stems from the fact that I'm an inappropriate giggler.  If I get a little nervous or uncomfortable...or if a situation becomes slightly awkward....the chances of me giggling are pretty high.  The potential also exists for me to start giggling and then not be able to stop.  I try to overcome this issue by listening to my ipod and keeping my eyes closed.  However, I'm also a nosy person and I like to know whats going on around me....so inevitably I'll take my earbuds out so that I can eavesdrop.  As it turns out - the bus is the place to be for gathering My Life Is So Weird moments.......the last time I took the bus a transvestite prostitute got on wearing a tutu and fuzzy pink bedroom slippers....today's encounter wasn't quite so scandalous. MORNING BUS RIDE

The woman sitting next to me called out the woman sitting across from me (who had her bags on the seat next to her while people in the vicinity were standing).

Lady 1:  Can't you see she wants to sit down?!

Lady 2:  Are you talking to me?

Lady 1:  Move your bags - she wants to sit there!

Lady 2:  She hasn't asked to sit here....

Lady 1:  Why should she have to?!  It's the freakin' bus!  Move your bags!

Lady 2:  If she wants to sit down she should say excuse me.

Lady 1:  She's standing up with no where to sit!

Lady 2:  How do you know she wants to sit down?

Lady 1:  Because I'm ATTENTIVE.

Lady 2:  But she didn't say excuse me....

(at this point Lady 2 shuffles her bags around and the standing woman meekly sits down without saying a word)


Lady 2 from the morning bus ride shuffles in and sits down across from me.  Are you freakin' kidding me?!  She will now be referred to as Morning lady since two new ladies have joined us.....it's like deja vu!

Lady 1:  Can I sit here?

Lady 2:  Where do you want me to put my bag?

Lady 1:  How about you put it under the seat...

Lady 2:  I don't know about that.

Lady 1:  Yes well I know about that - If you don't then no one else can sit here.

Young Man:  Ma'am if you put the handle down I'll help you slide it under the seat.

Lady 2:  I kind of like it where it is.

Lady 1 reaches over and slams the handle down.

Lady 2:  Hey!  Don't touch my stuff!!!!

Lady 1:  Look!

Lady 2:  Well now I don't feel like moving it.  I'm not moving it.

Lady 1:  I'm telling the bus driver.  He'll make you move it.

(In the meantime Morning Lady sitting across from me starts ranting)

Morning Lady:  This is why the bus is so late!  It was supposed to be here at 1530!  I was here at 1520 and now it's after 1600!  I'm calling his supervisor.

(At this point the bus driver stops the bus and comes to the back to make the Lady 2 move her bag.....Lady 1 squeezes in and plops down)

Lady 2:  There were seats in the back.

Lady 1:  I don't want to sit in the back I want to sit here.

Lady 2:  Just don't touch my stuff ever again.

(In the meantime....)

Morning Lady:  I'm definitely calling his supervisor!

Rotten Toothed Man:  Are you going to tell the supervisor to give him the belt?

Morning Lady:  No.  I'm going to tell him that he needs to be on time!  I have to go home and get ready for tomorrow!

Rotten Toothed Man:  I think you should tell him to get his belt out.

Morning Lady:  No.  I'm going to tell him that he needs a watch.  That's why I wear a watch - So I always know what time it is!

(The bus is now so full that people are back to back.  The Morning Lady is now predicting when everyone will get off the bus.  I take out a note pad and start scribbling notes to document the mlisw moment - and I put in my earbuds to fend off a case of the giggles.  A police officer has boarded the bus and is acting as crowd control.  There is a woman at the front of the bus yelling at the driver for not stopping when she hits the button.  I notice that Morning Lady is getting off the bus so I take out an earbud to catch any final moments....)

Lady 2:  You definitely could have sat in the back.

Lady 1:  Stop!  Just stop already!

Lady 2:  Well it's true....

Lady 1:  I'm already sitting down and I said STOP!

Morning Lady:  The bus looks like it's going opposite because it's on a swivel.....