Yesterday I had a case of the blues...and it was a bad case of the blues. It's bound to happen a few times during a rotation. (In fact I've talked about it before...) I wake up and think, 'Get Me The 'Eff Off This Ship!!!!'. Then I start thinking other depressing thoughts. Such as, 'everyone at home is forgetting about me. Why am I wasting my life out here? I've got to get a new job!'.
Clearly, thoughts like these aren't healthy....or productive...
While I'm having these thoughts I can clearly intellectualize the fact that they aren't even rational but, that doesn't make them go away.
So there I was....standing my afternoon bridge watch feeling sorry for myself. (My watch partner was probably feeling sorry for himself too....I was pretty miserable to be around...) I couldn't stop thinking about the weddings I was missing....and the friend reunions I was missing....or the fact that someone else was driving my car to a dinner I couldn't attend. I was truly just standing there, staring out the window, feeling so incredibly melancholy that I was on the verge of tears.
Then I spotted it. A huge school of dolphins heading our way.
I ran to get Big Bertha and just started snapping away.
They frolicked, splashed, jumped, flopped and surfed.
It was as if all my melancholy just disappeared. I felt invigorated, renewed, refreshed and lucky. It was like being sprinkled with magic happiness dust. It made me wish so, so much that I could somehow share the feeling.
Do you ever just stop and think, 'Oh My Goodness....I forgot how incredibly lucky I am...'?
After I stood on the bridge wing and watched the last dolphin zoom away all I could think is:
An Attitude of Gratitude. An Attitude of Gratitude. An Attitude of Gratitude.
I continued to stand there. I started taking pictures of the sea foam. I took some photos of our wake. I let my hair get super messy and zip around my head. I just stood there feeling lucky.
*For the record I was seriously missing the lens that makes Bertha BIG. Oh good golly miss molly....if only I could have zoomed in closer....*