Sometimes we need to have: The Worst Travel Day Ever.
Why, you ask?
Here's why. Someday, you'll be standing in a really long line trying to reschedule a flight. In fact, you're rescheduling multiple flights because well, it takes many flights to get where you're going. There will be a big dude in line behind you who is standing way to close so that occasionally you'll feel his belly hitting your back. You'll be really tired and your plantar fasciitis will be acting up. You forgot your travel toothbrush set and your teeth are ridiculously furry. You know that lovely tan you were sporting two days ago after the best beach day ever? It's gone. You have a monster of a zit on your chin. Your purse is heavy. You're tired of rolling your rollie. Your jeans are cutting into your gut. Your last flight was heinously long - in fact it was so long that your underwear left gouges in your bum - did you know that those gouges can itch? They're itchy. You think, 'I don't know if there can be a travel day worse than this!' and then you'll think, 'weellll....remember that other time...yep, it was worse than this!'. Then...Boom! You're feeling a lot better! You get to the front of the line and you're smiling. It's the first smile the customer service rep has seen in awhile and she now loves you soooo....you get great new connecting flights and upgraded to first class! That, my friends, is why you need to occasionally have a really bad travel day!
I'm back in Houston after an gloriously extended trip home to the Big Island.
On my way back I may have had my worst travel day ever.
Hilo was really stormy on Tuesday. I was incredibly pleased. I mean, it's a lot easier to leave paradise when it's rainy. You feel me?
I had the redeye out of Honolulu so I didn't need to fly out of Hilo until 8:30 pm. Well, the flight was bumpy. It was windy and rainy. The bumps weren't unexpected and honestly, I'm cool with bumps. Landing in Honolulu my belly was a little shall we say, 'unhappy'. I didn't think it was the bumps.
I figured it was the strange dinner I had. A bowl of banana, a bowl of avocado, a bowl of cottage cheese, a pan full of sausage and a cocktail. It sounds so much weirder than it was.
My flight took off from Honolulu and lo and behold the bumpy air wasn't gone. We were about five minutes into our ascent when I jumped up from my seat and bolted for the bathroom. The Stewardess said, 'Ma'am I really need you to sit down' I squawked, 'I'm gonna barf!' She says, 'oh, okay'. I slammed the door shut and let loose.
I continued letting loose for the entire 5.5 hour flight. I counted 8 frazzled leaps from my seat.
Want to know what's worse than throwing up? Throwing up in the airplane bathroom. Times Ten Thousand KaBajillion.
Needless to say, by the time we landed in Los Angeles I felt like I could barely move.
I put out a few mayday calls to friends in LA and Houston they went something like this, 'so like, if I was dying would you come get me....cause like, I think I'm dying....'.
I ended up rallying at LAX. I got some coconut water (the miracle of all miracles) and crackers. Set my alarm, took a nap at the gate and then limped onto my final flight to Houston.
Nautie Friends, it sucked so hard core. I had bought the cutest of cute outfits - I felt like I absolutely nailed airplane chic - and then I repeatedly sullied my skirt on the floor of an airplane bathroom.
I have a suggestion for all Travelistas. Practice vomiting without touching the floor or using your hands. I'm guessing there is a yoga pose out there that would do the trick! You just never know when you might need some mad skills.
All I know is that I've done enough travel to know that a Worst Day Ever is a great way to stay calm when things are beginning to get annoying. Perspective is amazing, amiright?! (I also know that I shouldn't get too cocky about a Worst Day Ever...the universe is pretty spectacular at one upping me....)
Here's to ginger ale, saltines and the nicest stewardess' ever.