Coffee To A Tea With Sugar

I’ve been thinking a lot about coffee lately.  I’ve mostly been thinking about how to kick my habit.  I’ve also been thinking about the repercussions of kicking my habit…it’s not as straight forward as just giving up a vice.  In order to really help you understand why there might be repercussions I need to discuss shipboard coffee culture.

Coffee time happens twice a day.  0950-1020 is morning coffee and 1450-1520 is afternoon coffee.  These are the only designated breaks other than regular meal hours.  Coffee time is a sacred thing – most sailors have a daily coffee time routine.  I sailed with one guy who would go to his room and eat an exact amount of jellybeans during his break.  He brought just enough jellybeans to last a trip and they were tightly rationed.  He would get visibly upset if something prevented him from scurrying to his room at exactly 0950 for his daily jelly belly fix.  Coffee time differs from ship to ship.  I’ve sailed on some ships where all the officers met up in the officer’s mess (o-mess) and all the unlicensed met up in the crew mess everyday for coffee.  I’ve also sailed on ships where all the officers met in the Engine Control Room (ECR).  On one ship all the officers met in the ECR when one Chief Engineer was onboard but didn’t meet down there when his relief was there – the Relief Chief didn’t believe that Deckies belonged in the Engine Room.  On my current ship we pretty much all scatter to our own spaces to do whatever it is we do.  I’m personally a fan of everyone getting together.  I think it is a great way for everyone to stay on the same page and builds crew morale – a daily dose of fun if you will.  Coffee time can also indicate your shipboard social status….for example, I had a First Assistant Engineer on this ship a few trips ago who kicked me out of the Engine Room during coffee time…..and it was because he got offended with me making fun of his car…..he said he had a corvette or something fancy like that but he didn’t really because it was a kit car. 

Coffee on ships is also really important because sometimes caffeine is all that’s keeping you awake.  The midnight watch can get awfully long with no pick me up.  This isn’t even taking into account the nights where you get called out – go back to sleep – and then get called back out again.  

I’ve been on ships where I’m drinking coffee strictly for the warmth it provided.  A four-hour deck watch in the middle of an Alaskan February can feel like an eternity.  

Yesterday I hosted coffee time on the bridge.  It was like a mini tea party.  I had sent a box of cookies to the company headquarters.  They had held onto it and then dispatched the package with the next shipment to the vessel – I guess they didn’t understand that it was addressed to them ‘Vessel Manager’.  So we sipped coffee and enjoyed treats from Big Island Candies. 

In a nutshell coffee provides:  an excuse to gather and gossip like old biddies; energy when you have none and; warmth in arctic (or even just plain chilly) environments.  Also not mentioned is that it gives you something to do….watch suddenly feels oppressively boring….oh! I have to go brew a pot of coffee!

The problem lies when it is time to go home.  All of a sudden I’m confronted with the fact that I have a 6-8 cup a day habit.  The headaches are  horrendous – it can also be held accountable for the plain old bitchiness.  Then I leave the house and convince myself that it is okay to go get a coffee at my favorite coffee shop because my headache is just unbearable - and my Mom doesn't give me a hard time about the 'latte factor' becuase she's just hoping it makes me stop being such a bitch in the car!

I’ve been trying to drink black tea instead of coffee.  This hasn’t been working out that great for me.  I’ve been ‘off’ coffee for about a month now and I’m still suffering from withdrawal headaches.  Sometimes I’ll allow myself a cup just because I can’t get down to my room for some ibuprofen.  Black tea obviously has less caffeine but I still find myself drinking copious amounts of it.  I make 3-4 mini pots a day…which is still quite about of caffeine…..and tannin which is making my teeth yellow.

Coffee To A Tea With Sugar is in West Seattle at The Junction.  It is one of my favorite places to grab a cuppa something – and they have really, really yummy cupcakes.  Which leads me to another problem.  I love coffee house culture.  Sitting and sipping and staring - it just wouldn’t be the same without a vanilla latte!

I went down to the engine room today for coffee time.  I had half a cup. I told myself to try to enjoy the ambiance and conversation without the coffee but I felt like an outsider!  I think I’ll just keep thinking about coffee and then justify it by telling myself that it is okay in moderation...

#Reverb10 12-12-10

Prompt:  Body Integration.  This year when did you feel the most integrated with your body?  Ddi you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesie you, alive and present? I didn't really like this prompt....a little too much 'mumbo-jumbo' for me.

Then I thought....only a handful of people in the world have ever had cramps on a tanker - trust me...mind and body are fully integrated.....

#Reverb10 12-11-10

December 11  Prompt:  Things.  What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011?  How will you go about eliminating the?  How will getting rid of these things change your life? You’ve got to be kidding me!  Eleven things?!  I’m not even going to try…..here’s what I came up with:

1)      Coffee – this alone is a blog entry.  It deserves its own entry – coffee is a sacred, sacred thing and any talk about elimination must be taken very, very seriously.

2)      House – I kind of want to sell my house….but really I want to reduce the stress my house causes me….

3)      Debt – This is almost the same thing as saying house.  However, I would be FREE!  I could go anywhere and do anything!!!!

4)      The 15 lbs that love my hips – do I really need to explain this one?

5)      Lack of compassion – It’s not a thing….although sometimes my intolerance is almost a palpable thing. 

That is all I have….

Here are some things I can’t live without:

1)      Books – I really do love to curl up with a good book.  Although many would consider this sacrilege I love to get a new paperback and  bend the cover back and crack the spine to soften it up.

2)      Music – iTunes is like crack – but who doesn’t love to rock out?!

3)      Earrings – I’m talking long sassy danglies. 

4)      A fun car to drive – My 4Runner is smokin’ hot.  I love to drive somewhere for no good reason and then turn around and go home.

5)      Flowers – I love to fill my house with colorful arrangements (living in Hawaii gives me a slight advantage) – nothing beats the farmers market – after fresh flowers comes fresh fruit. 

Do you like how I neatly avoided the meat and bones of that prompt?  I didn’t want to touch that one with a ten foot pole!

#Reverb10 12-10-10

December 10 Prompt:  Wisdom.  What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

My first thought was super pessimistic…..I thought it was a wise decision to do another rotation on this ship (even though I had a bad feeling about it) because now I know exactly how miserable shipboard life can get.  Isn’t that awful?!  I don’t even need to think about how it played out – because it’s playing out as we speak – and it sucks!

I know it sounds dramatic but, this rotation has truly sucked.  The good news is I have learned a lot….because if nothing else I have learned that I can handle just about anything.  This ship is punishing.  It has been one disaster after another….and I’ve been subjecting myself to it for almost three years.

To think that my wise decision was signing up for more punishment is just plain pathetic!  Just how institutionalized have I become?!  I’ve cast aside the notion that I have options!  I don’t have to do another rotation here!!  I can at least look for another job!  At least I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried to get out of here. 

What is even more pathetic is that the ‘good news’ is that I now know that I can handle anything….as if it was ever in question?!  I mean really, who cares how much I can handle?!  I’ve told myself repeatedly this trip to ‘toughen up’.  Toughening, handling and enduring are words that should be reserved for extreme circumstances….like illness and injury…..or fighting for a just cause.  Why do I have to toughen up anyways?!  It’s not exactly like I’m a spineless lassie, a simpering maiden or a delicate flower.  Just two days ago I described myself as independent, honest and bossy!  I’m just about as jaded, cynical, and obstinate as young women get these days.  I should be saying ‘No!  I don’t want to toughen up!  Why don’t you toughen up!’  Then I should make a grand exit…. 

I actually made my wisest decision back in October when I started my blog.  My blog makes me look for the silver lining – because who wants to look at photos of broken down machinery, empty shelves where our spare parts should be and rusty pipelines?!

If I was a glass half-full kind of person I’d say that my blog has shown me how to see the beauty in every day – but I’m kind of more on the dark and cloudy side – and what my blog has really done is draw my attention to the fact that I haven’t had fun in awhile….because my blog itself is my ‘most fun thing’.   I’m currently devising a plan to rectify this situation……in the meantime….at least my blog makes me smile.