M.L.I.S.W :: Beaver Fur

Standing in the wheelhouse talking about some of the things the Chief Mate has bought in Native villages in Alaska... 


CM: I got some beaver slippers

Me: Nice. I think I'd like a hat...

CM: I got a spotted seal hat...it has beaver fur on the inside.  

Me: I bet that's pretty warm... 

CM: Beaver fur is really soft. SO soft.  

*a little pause* 

Me: Beaver fur is soft, huh?  Like SO soft? *I proceed to crack up* 

CM: Oh thank god you're laughing...I didn't think I could keep a straight face for one more second.... 

*thinks to myself: man, they have no idea how much time my mind sits in the gutter...* 

This photo has nothing to do with this post...there was a 'dock dog' in King Cove...I mean he did have soft fur... 

This photo has nothing to do with this post...there was a 'dock dog' in King Cove...I mean he did have soft fur... 

M.L.I.S.W :: A Present

I came back to my room and found a ratty old hair elastic hanging on the handle of my door.  

First off, I haven't used this hair tie in two months. I maybe had it when I first got here but, as you can see it got a disgusting hair ball snarl on it.  

I don't know what happened. Either I threw it out, or I thought I threw it out...or it's not mine. Regardless, I haven't seen it in months.  

Minus the fact that I have to wonder where someone found it. I have to wonder what exactly went through their minds... 

My mind imagines this discovery developing two ways.  

Option A: 

This is Effin disgusting. Damn Megan and her hair - it's everywhere!  Screw her we're gonna hang this nastiness on her door.  

Option B: 

Oh look!  A hair tie!  Must be Megan's!  I bet she wants it back!  I'll hang it on her door.  

Either way the elastic hanging progressed I'm gonna throw a curve ball... 

Friends, I don't think the hair tie is mine. I don't use those hair ties. They're too thin for my hair. I think it belongs to an AB who has long hair. Which ups the ick factor by 100%.  

My Life Is So Weird. 




This might also be considered a My Life Is So Weird Moment except truly it wasn't so much weird as it was funny.

ACDC Man:  (looking at the Radar sees a vessel named Winning Brother) What a stupid name for a ship...Winning Brother!

ME:  I think a lot of foreign ships names get lost in translation....

ACDC Man:  yeah....but Winning Brother?!

ME:  I dunno dude...

ACDC Man:  If I had a ship I'd name it Bad to the Bone.  Then when people called my vessel they'd have to say it three times!  

We all cracked up.


You can read ACDC v1 here.

M.L.I.S.W :: Punani & Cheese Graters

In the last port I'm taking a nap when the Korean Radar Technician wakes me up from my nap to say, 'you sign paypah!'  I grumble 'go get the captain' but put on my work clothes and shuffle up to the bridge to sign his paperwork. If there's one unofficial rule on a ship it's: learn when people take their naps...and then don't wake them up!  I was cranky. 

I sign his paperwork and run into the Chief Mate on the bridge who was also their to sign his paperwork - apparently I'm not the only one to receive a call.  

The Chief Mate was pretty bummed because he had just sat on his glasses. After a few minutes of trying to help him I basically say, 'you're required to have a spare...I'm going back to bed...' 

I've just snuggled back in my bed when there's a furious rapping at my door.  

I throw on some pants and whip open the door.  

CM: I opened the cupboard by my bed to look for my glasses...I gotta show you something... 

ME: *blank stare* 

CM: There's a stack of porn in the cupboard - it's been there since I got this job...about two years at least... 

ME: ..and... 

CM: That's not what I have to show you! 

(back story - the other CM who just got off the ship completed his first trip - he might not know about the porn legacy) 

ME:  ok....I follow him to his room and he opens the cupboard...

There, next to the stack of girlie mags is a perfectly placed cheese grater.  


ME:  ummm...well....I'd say he doesn't approve.... 



I have a watch partner who has  thing for ACDC.  I find random ACDC etchings all over the ship. Mostly, I find them in condensation.  Sometimes I find them on scrap paper.  Sometimes I find them in dust.  I've started taking pictures of these little offerings and it's strangely become a lovely collection!

My first ACDC photo is still the best because the sunrise just lit it up.

My first ACDC photo is still the best because the sunrise just lit it up.

For those about to rock, we salute you.

This watch partner of mine can often times be found air guitaring on the bridge wing or muttering drum solos under his breath.

I offer you ACDC v1 - I've got some more versions to follow!

M.L.I.S.W :: I Saw A Ghost

Sitting on the bow outbound from port I had a decidedly weird conversation. 

First off, I mention sitting on the bow fairly often between this lovely blog and all my other social media vices. What do I do on the bow you might be wondering... 

My primary purpose is to drop the anchor in case of an emergency. I also act as a lookout...little boats, etcetera. On this ship I'm on the bow with an unlicensed sailor who is actually acting as lookout and I'm mostly just there in case of emergency.  

Segue to weird conversation between two sailors sitting on the bow... 

We have a couple minutes of shipboard related chit chat - who's got the next watch - when will we be in the next port - blah blah blah. 

Then there is blissful silence. Misty Pusan is behind us and buoys and coasters are ahead of us. There's a nice little breeze and overall it's just a pleasantly simple evening.  

Then out of the blue my partner on the bow whips around to face me and says... 

Lookout:  I saw a ghost today.  

Me:  oh yeah? 

Lookout:  yep. I was walking past the tool room and I saw an apparition and then I heard a tool drop...I just figured it was the bosun.  

Me:  mmmhmm  

Lookout:  but then the chief mate walked by and asked if I'd seen the bosun - I said oh yeah he's in the tool room - the mate said no one was in there and that's when I knew....it was a ghost.  

Me:  mmmhmmm

Lookout:  I see things sometimes. They're attracted to my energy. They must know in sensitive.  

Me:  mmmmhmmm

Lookout: like when I was home last time and the scrubber in the bathtub fell off the shelf. I knew then too.... 

Me: well. I hope it was a friendly ghost.... 


Sitting on bits talking about ghosts....it's a new one for me...