Not so anonymous.

the cells

Something happened today.  It's something I always knew might happen.  In fact, it didn't actually happen today.  It began happening organically for the last few months.  This little blog o' mine lost its anonymity.  It came to a head today when work emailed me asking to use some of my blog content in their newsletter.

I immediately called my Dad to discuss.  As one does.

He said, 'you've been posting pictures of your feet and your coffee mugs for a long time...why don't you want them to know who you are?'.  To which I replied something like, 'Daaaad!!!!  All of the feeeeelllings!!!!'.  

I followed up the call to my Dad with a call to my Cousin, a call to my Bestie, a call to my Mom and, a few texts.  As one does.

In the end, everyone had the same question:  why does it bother you that it's not anonymous?

Most people said, 'just own it'.

The answer feels complicated but, really it's quite simple.  

It's a lot to own because it's just so personal.

Sure, there are things that get thrown into the mix because nothing is ever simple.  Things like, I started blogging at 26.  I wrote about things that I wouldn't write about today.   Some of my views have changed through the years - do I go back in time and delete content?  There are other things like, if some of the guys from work read about my feelings would they judge me harshly?  More importantly, why do I care...isn't that the bigger issue?

I ran across a quote from Steve Jobs that rang true.

That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.
— Steve Jobs

Do you want to know the truth?  Blogging anonymously was a bit of a cop out.  I could write my little heart out - rant and rave - and never be held fully accountable.  

In this case, simple is harder.  Not being anonymous is simpler.  It's also going to be a challenge.  I will have to work harder to get my thinking clean.  

Maybe, just maybe, having to 'own it' will be liberating.