Apparently, I'm incredibly naive. You know how I thought the blog was anonymous? Not so much. People have known who I was for awhile!
Do I want to password protect the blog? Yes. Do I also want to share a female perspective with you all? Yes. Do I hope some chick reads this blog someday and thinks, 'wow, I'm not the only one having these thoughts...'? Yes.
Do I feel incredibly self conscious about some of the content I've posted through the years? YES.
Do you know what I am? Fucking stubborn. Here's a whole slew of posts I wouldn't necessarily want someone digging up in the archives. I did the hard work for you! It's hard to embarrass someone on their own terms.
2010. First year blogging. I was 2M on a tanker in the Persian Gulf. I tried to discuss crying on tankers, getting rid of 'mad-ons' and a female perspective. I wove it into a post about ballast water exchanges. Hella Awkward. Mad On's... In this same era I post that I hate changing Nav Lights. Ridiculous. Remember the time I went psycho about beans? I had completely forgotten! I never said anything but this was the time I was on a tanker that went aground. Good times.
This was the moment the blog changed for me. I wrote about my Uncle Rocket. I shared the post with my Cousin Rhiannon and, it connected us. Rhiannon has changed my life. I have the blog to thank for that.
This post was also written in 2010 and like whoa depressing. What cracks me up is I didn't even know what a shitty rotation was like back then...I just thought I did...
One time I went to see the lava. It has nothing to do with anything but I love the photos.
There was the time I discovered instagram. Still love it.
In 2011 I went on a rant about Pirates. My friends know they make me mental. They youtube links are no longer embedded. You'll have to cut and paste them...
I blogged about spiders at my house. I joke here buuutttt...this mayyybee made me move out of my house...maybe....
I turned 28.
I used to talk to a semi boyfriend on the single side band. Glory Days.
The first time I thought I'd have a collision at sea. I was scared. This phrase 'attitude the difference between adventure and ordeal' gets searched more and leads more people to my blog than anything else. It's still 2011.
Oh. My. Gosh. I found the post where I explained Nautie Mermate. I elaborated that I was looking for a Merman. Hahahahah! Yaaaaaasssss!!!!!!
I wrote this post about whoring around and guys actually got pissed. I got blog hate mail. No lie.
I bitch about cadets. I still think this is true. You should be able to roll a cadet up in a gym mat and beat them. Just saying.
The time I fucked up big time.
There was a blue church in the Azores that I loved. That is all.
Manarola Italy - Loved it there - also had a shipboard romance.
I shared a bit about my family. Specifically, my Uncle Bob.
Somewhere in the time period around the Mettle Makers I start to talk more directly about being a woman at sea. I wrote My Meow is Effin Fierce. The title still cracks me up...
Then I wrote an open letter to the Dudes of MMA. This was about the time I realized He for She was a thing.
I became a MerCaptain. There was very little fanfare.
I got a job on containerships - and then I got a job on a tanker - and then I got a job on tugboats. Somewhere in there, I read Brave Enough and decided to write mini essays but never followed through. (This is something I kind of want to keep doing....)
Ooooh...this is an embarrassing post....I wrote all about Beyoncé. Ha.
I got to go North up into the Ice. I had a blast on a tugboat and knew I had made a good choice to leave the ships.
More recently I wrote about some mistakes.
Sometimes, I blog drunk. Truth.
That brings us to the here and now. I figured out this week the blog wasn't anonymous. The idea is growing on me.
Bottom line? I've had so much fun blogging here over the years. The blog isn't going anywhere.